Grrr....

This is for all those guys (approximately nil) who read my blog. But if you're a guy, and you're reading it, then listen in. Apologies if this seems a little harsh, but it is a problem to be dealt with.

I have been talking to some of my friends.
And they are not happy.
And the reason they are not happy is because they have split up with their boyfriends. And those boyfriends previously said THE THREE WORDS to them.

You know the three words I'm talking about. They go like this:
"I love you".

GUYS!!! PLEASE THINK before you make such a statement. Ask yourself the tough questions:

Why do I want to say this to her? Is it just because of feelings? If so, are these feelings going to last? (Can I answer that question now - the answer is NO. Feelings don't last forever - two years is usually about the maximum. After that, love becomes a choice that you make, and the feelings are then a result of working on the relationship, rather than just effortless/involuntary)
Why do I want to say this to her now?
Am I willing to back this up with a commitment to her? (there's that c-word. If you don't want to commit to her, don't say it!)

And finally, put yourself in her shoes. Ask this question:
How would I feel if she told me she loves me, then a few months later broke up with me?

Look, if you've already made the above mistake, we'll forgive you. We're all human, we all mess up. But please be wise about what you say in the future.

And if only female readers are reading this, well, the same applies to us, eh girls? We'd better make sure we're not causing unnecessary pain to guys either.

Okay, that's my little rave over. Thanks for tuning in.

You know those people on Australian Idol who sound terrible?

I think I'm one of those people.

Not that I've ever auditioned for Australian Idol. But I knew there had to be a reason for that.

I've just been mucking around with our audio-editing software - kinda like Protools, except not Protools. And to do that, I've recorded myself singing. Admittedly, Ashlee Simpson's 'Pieces of Me' is probably not the greatest song, but it's one of the few that has an instrumental backing track.

After a frustrating time of figuring out how to use the software, and recording the song....
"How can she sing so on-pitch? Why can all singers sing in tune?"
"They play the melody when they sing it," says Dad.

Oh.

Next week's lesson: MIDI inputs. And learning to play the tune 'Pieces of Me'.

Aargh.

Entertainment (i.e. yours)

Sometimes I think I'm here for everyone's entertainment. Sometimes that doesn't feel like a very good purpose. But other times, I would love to just be able to make people feel good - to play a song that brings back a favourite memory, or to say something funny so they can laugh and forget how sad they are for awhile - to communicate truth through a poem or a song.....well, you get the general idea. I wish they paid people to do that! Then I would never do anything else. I'd just try to help people - by entertaining them. Or spending time with them. That's fun too. Or taking them on crazy adventures by winging it - bus timetables are overrated! I say, make it up! :-p Kidding. (Well, sort of kidding :-)

Adrian Plass

He's a funny, funny man.

http://www.adrianplass.com/media/index.htm

(I recommend the one called 'True Repentance')

You've just got to laugh......

The bloke who owns the place where I work likes to take an interest in the people who rent out half his building. He asked me today, "So how's the boyfriend situation?" Not really wanting to talk about the subject in depth, I replied, "Mate, they're just pouring in."
"Don't worry," he said, "I used to be left on the shelf all the time too."

Rainy Day

(a poem I wrote, about 6 months ago.....)

Tonight the lines are all jammed up
No-one’s calling
No-one’s talking
And that’s sad because I need to

Lonely, today was rainy
Moping seems such a bittersweet activity
Today the clouds were low
The clouds were crying

Bored, I wandered listlessly
The grey skies crowded in
And I pondered upon
How things became so desolate

Solitary, walking through the rain
The shadow in the alley
Passing through the light
Casting darkness on the pavement below

Cosy but lonely in my house
I picked up the phone, but you weren’t there
I left a message, but you couldn’t come
I suppose you had better things to do

Solitary I shall be
Lonely, but not alone, that’s me
Walking down the street in the rain by herself
Her silent Friend sighs…

Winging it

(aka Janelle, Matt, Geoff and Nicola's Excellent Adventure)

I don't know how many of you have been to a Michael W. Smith concert - not many, I'm assuming, since he doesn't come to Australia that often. But last night was one of the rare occasions that he did come, and he came to Brisbane.

Two of Janelle's friends (Matt and Geoff, who at that point I'd only spoken to on MSN) from Longreach bought tickets to the concert, and Janelle got them to buy me a ticket. They said they would drive down to Brisbane, we said "okay" and thought everything was dandy ;-).

Yesterday afternoon, all attempts to message Janelle about transport details (i.e. which bus to take and from where) were mysteriously cut off, as she never received my messages. This resulted in me racing home from work, boarding a bus and buying a ticket only to zone 3. Janelle then called, wondering why I hadn't sent her any details? I replied that I HAD sent her details (actually 3 times) and I was now on the way to zone 3.

"Well, it's actually easier for me to get into the city. I don't think I can get to zone 3."
"Well what about the boys, can't they drive you?"
"No, they didn't bring a car."

This statement hung in the air for awhile, before the sinking sensation as I realised that if we were going to get to that concert at all, I'd better know what the heck I was talking about.

So I pulled out the big guns.
I winged it.

"Yep, no worries. I'll meet you in the city outside KFC."
Fortunately we had a bit of time in which to wing it.
I got off the bus at zone 3, bought another ticket to zone 1, hopped on the next bus to the city and off I went.

I figured out which bus to take (it was to a place I'd been before, so that made life a bit easier) and also threw in which bus to catch back, just in case. I had tea, and Janelle still hadn't turned up (we had 15mins before the next bus left), so I called her.
"Hey, are you nearly here yet?"
"No, I'm still at the station."
(pause)
(in a nice voice) "Why are you still at the station?"
"I'm waiting for the boys. They haven't arrived yet. I'll message you when they get here."
So I bought a Cherry Ripe for dessert and went for a walk. Got a message "we're on our way" and raced back to KFC, where we met up. Then we ran to the next bus (which we'd missed, so we had to wait 20mins for the next one!) We discussed Queen Street, murderers, eating the Cherry Ripe.....and then the boys said, "we've got three tickets."
"Three? Don't you mean four?"
"No, three. See?" They show us three tickets.
"Guys, are you kidding? You'd better NOT be kidding! I'll kill you!" *this is Janelle*
"We only brought three tickets! That's it!"
"Okay, okay (me winging it again) can we get them at the door?"
"Yeah, there's like 200 left."
"You're kidding. You guys really have 4 tickets don't you."
"No, we've only got three!"
The conversation went in this circle until the next bus was almost due, and I decided I'd better head home if we only had three tickets. The boys confessed that yes, they had four.

We got on the bus - a banana bus! We sat in the turntable, until we decided we really needed to see out of the windows to know where we were going. As I was trying to decide whether it was one or two more stops, a man in a seat said, "Are you going to COC?" to which we replied, "Yes."
"There's two stops on Wecker Road," he said.
"Which one do we want?" asked Janelle.
The man just smirked and turned around. The boys tried not to laugh. It was an awkward silence, until I broke it by snapping, "It was a legitimate question!"

Anyway, there really was only one stop on Wecker Road. We got out and raced half a km or so to the concert. We missed the opening act.

The concert itself was really good - I heard this song, and went , "wait, I know it! But where from?" Then I remembered how that song made me feel - and then I remembered I used to feel that way in grade six - and yes, that was where I knew it from. But anyway.....

The person that Matt and Geoff were meant to be staying with piked. This time Janelle pulled out the big guns: she winged it.
"Hi Josh? It's Janelle. I'm good, how are you? Yeah, I have two friends here, and they need somewhere to stay. Can they sleep in your front yard? They have swags."
And Josh, being in his super-alert state at 10:30pm, agreed. So we set off for the bus. In the process, Geoff got his shoe stuck in mud that he tried to jump across (and I mean buried). Matt told us to flap our arms, it would make us run faster. It was awesome.

We ran the half km. But we missed the bus. So we sat there, outside the Mansfield pub next to a bottle of Jim Beam and cola someone had left in the bus shelter, and pondered what we should do. Yep, you got it. Once again, we pulled out the big guns: "We'll just play it by ear," said Matt.
"Why don't we just bus to Garden City and then go to Josh's?" suggested Janelle.
"Cos we have to go back to Central and getour swags," said Matt.
Geoff called a taxi. Then a bus showed up on the other side of the road. We cancelled the taxi and bused it to Garden City.

11:28pm. We arrived at Garden City, in time for the last bus back to Queen St. Sweet.
12:15pm We had a burger at Hungry Jack's - the boys hadn't had tea.
12:30pm We were on the train to Coopers Plains.
1am - We trekked from Coopers Plains over to Josh's place. Have you ever walked the streets at such an hour? It is awesome!!!!!!!!!
1:15 am We knock on the door - Josh stumbles off the couch and lets the guys in. He then drives Janelle and I back to her place.
1:30am - Janelle and I crash.

7:30 am - Janelle wakes me up. She's going on a camp. We get ready, and leave - Janelle with the people who are picking her up, and me to the Banoon bus shelter. There I chat to a man who is practicing his English. Then it's off to Garden City (AGAIN!!!!!!!) and then home.

That was our excellent adventure, which we winged and played by ear :-) I know it doesn't sound very exciting right now, but had you been there, you would have had the time of your life :-)

*So when you get stuck, just wing it*

Psalm 139 (my version)

Lord, You have searched my heart.
You know me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know what I'm thinking about.
You know when I'm going out
You know what time my bedtime is.
You know my routines, my habits, my mannerisms, and which sandwich I'm going to order at Subway.
You know what I'm about to say, even before I say it.
You are all around me
And you are holding me.
You are so amazing, so wonderful and so intelligent
I'll never fully understand you.
Your Spirit never leaves me
I'm always in your presence
You are in heaven
You are under the earth and the sea
You are there early in the morning
You are even on the other side of the world - I can't run from you.
You guide me and keep me on track.
If it's dark and scary, and I can't see,
You can. It's as bright as the day to you. The depth of my despair won't ever shut you out.
You created my spirit.
You created my body.
I am your work of art.
You always knew exactly how I would turn out
And you have been watching.
You knew, before I was born, everything that I was ever going to do, think or say
and you knew everything that would happen to me.
God, your thoughts are precious to me
And there are too many to count.
We will always be together.
God, get rid of all the evil stuff in my life
Keep me from the influence of evil and the influence of people who hate you.
Your friends are my friends
Your enemies are mine.
God, please keep searching my heart.
Don't stop knowing me.
Test me
Deal with my anxious thoughts
If there is anything that separates us,
Please get rid of it
So that we can always be together.
I love you.

If you want to see the original version of Psalm 139, follow this link:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20139&version=31