If you were having a bad day......

and I wanted to make you smile, I'd write something like this:
(thanks to Pat for proof-reading this one)


"Oh how you frustrate me
You drive me up the wall
Just because you know that I am
Short and you are tall.
It isn't fair, I tell you.
How can you be so mean?
To use your height to your advantage
It is just obscene.

Just quit picking on me now
You're getting too big for your boots
I hope a giant ant comes along
And bites one of your foots.
Oh how I'd love to see that.
I'd really have a laugh!
And when your foot is swollen to the size of your head
Then I will call the Mafia,
And they will come and get you
And they will bring you down
To your proper size, won't you be surprised!
The news will be out around town.

And then won't you be feeling sorry
Won't you be feeling uptight
When they shrink you down, then you'll be short
And I'll be twice your height!"