Library

I was at the library today because I needed to borrow some books, but first I had to......*boom boom boom* clear my penalty points.

"If these librarians," I thought, "are going to be like my school librarians, then I'm for it."

So up to the desk I went. "I need to get my card cleared, cos I'm on full penalty points," then added a quick apology - not because I actually meant it :-s but because I just wanted to pre-empt any general carry-on - you know the drill - 'You need to bring your books back on time!' etc etc etc.

The librarian looked me in the eye. "This is a joyous day! A marvellous occasion!" he said, smiling.
"It is?"
"You don't have to pay me any money! I don't have to take your money!"
I explained to him the whole school librarian complex.
"Look," he says, "they're not my books. People are supposed to borrow them. If they're going to bring them back, they will. And if they're not, they won't. Now ye can begone - and borrow everything!" as he gave me my card.