Schoolies street chaplaincy last year

One of my most frightening experiences was not an encounter with a schoolie.

It was an encounter with a public toilet.

And I am not talking about your standard brick building with a tin roof. No, this was the most up-to-date, high-tech toilet you could imagine.

The toilet block itself was white and had little flashing lights all over it. It looked like a spaceport - I was half expecting *radio noise* "Clear cubicle three, we have a spaceship coming in to land."

Anyway, cubicle three was free, so I slid open the door and went in. It was quite easy to shut the door, but locking it was another matter. There were instructions. And I did follow them. But it didn't work. So I resorted to my own method that I like to call the Random Button Press.

However, it had no effect whatsoever, and so I reverted to following the instructions. This time the door did lock. Suddenly I heard a voice.

"Tho door is locked. To flush the toilet, please press the button in the wall twice. The door will automatically unlock in ten minutes." Then 'The Girl from Ipanema' or something similar began playing.

The horrible thought occured to me.
What if I'm not done in ten minutes?
I had a terrible vision of the door sliding open, me being able to see all of Surfers Paradise.....and all of them able to see me.

Fortunately, ten minutes was plenty of time. Then I realised I had to unlock the door. I went straight for the Random Button Press method, but to no avail. If worst came to worst, I knew I'd be out in around seven minutes, but I wanted to get out right then! So I followed the instructions (twice) and lo and behold, the light turned green and the door unlocked!

Glad to be free of the spaceport, I pulled the door open and stumbled out. The first thing I saw were five faces - my street chaplain friends had been waiting outside. They stared at me, dumbfounded.

I was free.