My issue of control

This helped me:

"Jesus' ownership of our lives is not a control that manipulates us or takes away our dignity. Jesus never presumes things or decides things for people. He does not abuse or bully people. In fact, we find Jesus asking as many questions as people asked Him. He does not decide what people need and then give it to them. He asked the blind beggar Bartimaeus, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Mark 10:51) He asked the paralytic, "Do you want to be made well?" (John 5:6)....And He told His disciples, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." (John 14:15)

Jesus always preserves our freedom. He allows us to choose Him over all others. Jesus will not control us in the wrong way. Nor will He control us in the easy way, by making every decision for us. He governs our lives in the right way; by being who He is without compromise and by insisting we become all that we are meant to be. And He tells us this can occur only through following Him, obeying HIm and maintaining a living, passionate kinship to Him."
~Rebecca Manley Pippert, Out of the Saltshaker